Core beliefs and how they can impact your self esteem and self worth

No two people look at the world the same way, even when they have the same experience.  Informing our responses are typically core beliefs that are deeply held that color the way that people process different experiences.   These core beliefs are like glasses, how you interpret what is happening around can vary depending on the type of lens that you are using.  In this article, we will discuss core beliefs and how they can impact your sense of self.

What are core beliefs anyway?
Core beliefs are defined as a person's deepest opinions about themselves, others, and the world around them.  These beliefs become the lenses by which a person views every interaction and experience in their lives.  Core beliefs can be inaccurate or balanced, but they both affect how a person sees the world.  Harmful or inaccurate core beliefs can lead to negative thoughts, feelings, and actions.  More balanced beliefs tend to lead to rational thoughts, feelings, and actions.  Unchecked negative core beliefs can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and difficulty navigating stress.

A tale of two different people with differing core beliefs
Let's say that Susan and Debbie just got new jobs.  They work at the same place and started at the exact same time.  Each of them just finished their first manager meeting and received critical feedback about mistakes that they performed on the job.

Susan:

• Core belief: I am a failure
• Thought: I knew this job would be too difficult, I always fail, why do I even try?
• Feeling: Sad and worthless
• Action: Makes no change, feels defeated

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Debbie:

• Core belief: I know I can do this job, I just need to put in my best effort
• Thought: I made these mistakes because I did not prepare 
• Feeling: Disappointed
• Action: Plans to role play with a co-worker before trying again

Both Susan and Debbie had the exact same experiences, but Debbie was able to cope with the negative feedback she received because of her core belief which drove different actions than Susan's. 

What are some common core beliefs
Almost everyone struggles with negative core beliefs.  Some examples of common core beliefs are below.

• I am weak
• I am a loser
• I am stuck
• No one will ever love me
• No one likes me
• I never keep friends
• I am worthless
• I am stupid
• Nothing ever goes right
• The world is dangerous

How to challenge negative core beliefs
When you notice negative core beliefs about yourself, do not let those go unchecked! Here are things you can do to help challenge a core belief.

1. List 2-3 pieces of evidence that do not support your core belief
2. Re-frame your negative core belief into a more balanced one
3. Write these balanced core beliefs down in a place where you can see them often and say them to yourself

When should you get help?
If your negative core beliefs begin bleeding over into feelings of extreme depression, anxiety, or sadness it might be time for help.  If you live in the State of Texas, Seeds of Change Counseling is currently offering video counseling sessions.  Call us know at 512-676-5813 for a free therapy consultation to see if we are a fit for your needs.