How to help your teen during the coronavirus

Parents across the country have seen their teen's lives impacted and you see this in your home.  Your teen was incredibly excited about their prom, graduation, sports season, or even just hanging out with friends.  The pandemic came and disrupted everything, your teen is acting differently than before and you are concerned.  In this article we will explore how to check-in with your teen during this time and when to know that it is time for help.

How to talk with your teen about how they are feeling
Many teens can often be resistant about talking about how they are feeling.  Here are some tips when engaging with them.

1. Do not pepper them with questions.  Let's face it, none of us like to be asked a bunch of questions, and it can really push your teen away when you are trying to connect with them.  Instead, reflect what they say using statements and listen.
2. Choose the right time.  Look for an opportunity where they are not engaged in an otherwise fun activity, at the end of a tiring day, or immediately after a disagreement or an argument. 
3. Empathize with them.  Normalizing a teen's feelings can really go a long way to opening up communication.  It is hard to remember what it was like to be a teen, but try your best!  Hearing things like "you won't even remember prom" or "there is another season next year" really convey "your feelings do not matter" rather than "everything will be ok."
4. Share your feelings with them.  Sometimes teens need to know that we are human.  Sharing that you have fear, anxiety, or sadness can go a long way to building connection.
5. Try not to have inflated expectations (or low expectations).  Your teen may not want to talk about their feelings, that does not mean that the interaction was a failure, you are modeling what it looks like to seek connection!

When should you get help for your teen?

First and foremost, any discussion of suicide should be taken seriously.  When this happens, you can visit your local ER to get your teen the help that they need.

Here are some symptoms that can warrant a visit to your doctor or a therapist.  It is important to note that every adolescent can exhibit some of these symptoms from time to time.  However, noticing a marked increase in these behaviors in a short period of time could be a signal for additional help.

1. Withdrawal and isolation.  If your teen begins avoiding you completely, if you notice withdrawal from peers, or a completely new peer group out of the blue it could be a sign that your teen needs professional help.
2. Stark academic decline.  If you notice a sharp decrease in academic performance out of the blue or a significant decline in motivation it could be time to get additional help.
3. Substance use.  Developmentally, some level of experimentation during adolescence is to be expected.  However, significant substance use and risky behaviors could warrant additional help.
4. Frequent negative self talk.  If you observe your teen consistently speaking in absolutes about themselves such as "I am such a loser," "no one ever likes me," "I can never do anything right," or "I hate myself" it could be time to get extra help.

If you need additional help for your teen and live in the State of Texas, we currently offer video counseling during the coronavirus.  Please call us at 512-676-5813 for a free phone consultation to see how we can best support you.