Parents across the country have seen their teen's lives impacted and you see this in your home.  Your teen was incredibly excited about their prom, graduation, sports season, or even just hanging out with friends.  The pandemic came and disrupted everything, your teen is acting differently than before and you are concerned.  In this article we will explore how to check-in with your teen during this time and when to know that it is time for help.

How to talk with your teen about how they are feeling
Many teens can often be resistant about talking about how they are feeling.  Here are some tips when engaging with them.

1. Do not pepper them with questions.  Let's face it, none of us like to be asked a bunch of questions, and it can really push your teen away when you are trying to connect with them.  Instead, reflect what they say using statements and listen.
2. Choose the right time.  Look for an opportunity where they are not engaged in an otherwise fun activity, at the end of a tiring day, or immediately after a disagreement or an argument. 
3. Empathize with them.  Normalizing a teen's feelings can really go a long way to opening up communication.  It is hard to remember what it was like to be a teen, but try your best!  Hearing things like "you won't even remember prom" or "there is another season next year" really convey "your feelings do not matter" rather than "everything will be ok."
4. Share your feelings with them.  Sometimes teens need to know that we are human.  Sharing that you have fear, anxiety, or sadness can go a long way to building connection.
5. Try not to have inflated expectations (or low expectations).  Your teen may not want to talk about their feelings, that does not mean that the interaction was a failure, you are modeling what it looks like to seek connection!

When should you get help for your teen?

First and foremost, any discussion of suicide should be taken seriously.  When this happens, you can visit your local ER to get your teen the help that they need.

Here are some symptoms that can warrant a visit to your doctor or a therapist.  It is important to note that every adolescent can exhibit some of these symptoms from time to time.  However, noticing a marked increase in these behaviors in a short period of time could be a signal for additional help.

1. Withdrawal and isolation.  If your teen begins avoiding you completely, if you notice withdrawal from peers, or a completely new peer group out of the blue it could be a sign that your teen needs professional help.
2. Stark academic decline.  If you notice a sharp decrease in academic performance out of the blue or a significant decline in motivation it could be time to get additional help.
3. Substance use.  Developmentally, some level of experimentation during adolescence is to be expected.  However, significant substance use and risky behaviors could warrant additional help.
4. Frequent negative self talk.  If you observe your teen consistently speaking in absolutes about themselves such as "I am such a loser," "no one ever likes me," "I can never do anything right," or "I hate myself" it could be time to get extra help.

If you need additional help for your teen and live in the State of Texas, we currently offer video counseling during the coronavirus.  Please call us at 512-676-5813 for a free phone consultation to see how we can best support you.

No two people look at the world the same way, even when they have the same experience.  Informing our responses are typically core beliefs that are deeply held that color the way that people process different experiences.   These core beliefs are like glasses, how you interpret what is happening around can vary depending on the type of lens that you are using.  In this article, we will discuss core beliefs and how they can impact your sense of self.

What are core beliefs anyway?
Core beliefs are defined as a person's deepest opinions about themselves, others, and the world around them.  These beliefs become the lenses by which a person views every interaction and experience in their lives.  Core beliefs can be inaccurate or balanced, but they both affect how a person sees the world.  Harmful or inaccurate core beliefs can lead to negative thoughts, feelings, and actions.  More balanced beliefs tend to lead to rational thoughts, feelings, and actions.  Unchecked negative core beliefs can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and difficulty navigating stress.

A tale of two different people with differing core beliefs
Let's say that Susan and Debbie just got new jobs.  They work at the same place and started at the exact same time.  Each of them just finished their first manager meeting and received critical feedback about mistakes that they performed on the job.

Susan:

• Core belief: I am a failure
• Thought: I knew this job would be too difficult, I always fail, why do I even try?
• Feeling: Sad and worthless
• Action: Makes no change, feels defeated

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Debbie:

• Core belief: I know I can do this job, I just need to put in my best effort
• Thought: I made these mistakes because I did not prepare 
• Feeling: Disappointed
• Action: Plans to role play with a co-worker before trying again

Both Susan and Debbie had the exact same experiences, but Debbie was able to cope with the negative feedback she received because of her core belief which drove different actions than Susan's. 

What are some common core beliefs
Almost everyone struggles with negative core beliefs.  Some examples of common core beliefs are below.

• I am weak
• I am a loser
• I am stuck
• No one will ever love me
• No one likes me
• I never keep friends
• I am worthless
• I am stupid
• Nothing ever goes right
• The world is dangerous

How to challenge negative core beliefs
When you notice negative core beliefs about yourself, do not let those go unchecked! Here are things you can do to help challenge a core belief.

1. List 2-3 pieces of evidence that do not support your core belief
2. Re-frame your negative core belief into a more balanced one
3. Write these balanced core beliefs down in a place where you can see them often and say them to yourself

When should you get help?
If your negative core beliefs begin bleeding over into feelings of extreme depression, anxiety, or sadness it might be time for help.  If you live in the State of Texas, Seeds of Change Counseling is currently offering video counseling sessions.  Call us know at 512-676-5813 for a free therapy consultation to see if we are a fit for your needs.

We have all heard how important exercise is for our physical health.  In fact, the Department of Health and Human Services recommends getting at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity per week.  Besides benefiting our physical health, exercise is also extremely beneficial to our mental health.  In this article, we will explore the mental health benefits to exercise.

Anxiety disorders are common in the United States, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) indicates that 40 million adults age 18 and older (18.1% of the US population) are affected by anxiety disorders annually (https://adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics).  The ADAA reports that 16.1 million adults over the age of 18 (6.7% of the US population) suffer Major Depressive Disorder in a given year.  

Most of us have noticed that a brisk walk outside or a jog around the block can lift our mood, but what does the science say about exercise and mental health? 

Exercise's effect on the brain
Exercise can enlarge certain areas of the brain by improving blood supply that increases neuron health through improved delivery of oxygen and nutrients.  One of the areas that enjoys this effect is the hippocampus.  This area of the brain is responsible for memory, emotional regulation, and learning.  Studies completed in other animals show that exercise leads to the creation of new neurons.  Research also shows that several mental health conditions, especially depression, are associated with lower amounts of growth and development of nervous tissue in the hippocampus.

Where to turn when you need additional help?
If you struggle with a major depressive or anxiety disorder, exercise along may not be enough.  You will likely need help from mental health professionals such as a psychiatrist and therapist.  If you live in the State of Texas, Seeds of Change Counseling Center is offering video counseling during this time of pandemic.  Call us at 512-676-5813 for a free counseling consultation to see if we would be a good fit!

You are getting that feeling again - impending doom, you are scared of losing control or even death, your heart is racing, and you are shaking.  It has happened again, another panic attack.  Panic attacks strike when we want them to least, and often times we feel powerless against them.  In this article, we will review five ways that you can cope with your panic attack.

1. Practice deep breathing.  Oftentimes breathing becomes short and shallow during a panic attack.  Focus on a technique call 4-7-8 breathing where you breath in through your nose for a count of 4, hold it for a count of 7, and then breath out through your mouth for a count of 8.
2. Go for a walk or a jog.  Exercise is known to release endorphins which can help relax the body and improve mood.  Walking can also remove you from an environment which might feel emotionally unsafe while allowing you to focus on things besides your panic attack.
3. Try a mindfulness exercise.  Panic attacks can cause one to focus on "what if" scenarios that may or may not happen.  Mindfulness focuses you on the here and now and can help.  An example mindfulness exercise is below:
   1. Place a dollop of your favorite lotion in the palm of your hand.
   2. Observe characteristics of the lotion using each of your 5 senses.  For example: I smell the vanilla in the lotion, I feel the coolness in my hand, I see the edges of the lotion melting into my hand.
4. Try progressive muscle relaxation.  Progressive muscle relaxation is an effective technique for managing anxiety.  The mind can follow the body, meaning when the body relaxes, the mind can tend to relax as well.  Here is a popular script for progressive muscle relaxation that you can try. 
5. Picture your safe place.  Guided imagery can be extremely powerful in combating anxiety and panic attacks.  Close your eyes and imagine you are in your safe place.  Some think of their bedroom, the beach, or the mountains.  As you imagine being in your safe place, use all of your senses and notice 2-3 characteristics per sense.  

Sometimes panic attacks require professional help including potentially medication.  This might mean a trip to the psychiatrist and an appointment with a therapist.  If you have been experiencing panic that has been interrupting your day to day and live in Austin, please contact Seeds of Change Counseling at 512-676-5813 and schedule an appointment today.  We are proud to offer free therapy consultations before getting started to see if we are a fit. 

There are many unknowns in the world right now, and you are starting to feel their impact.  Everything feels never ending and you have been feeling down lately.  The only thing is that you do not know if you are sad or depressed.  In this article we will take a look at the difference between sadness and depression and when it is time for professional help.

What is sadness?
Sadness is a common and normal human emotion.  Sadness is triggered by an event or experience that is challenging, hurtful, or discouraging.  The characteristic to know about sadness is that it can be thought of as a response to such an event or experience.  This also means that our sadness to a particular event or experience will subside once we have adjusted or come to terms with that change.  

What is depression?
On the other hand, depression is not just an emotion.  Depression is an abnormal emotional state, a mental illness that affects every part of our lives - our thinking, our feelings, and our insights.  It is chronic in nature and when we are suffering from depression, we are sad about everything, not just a particular event or experience.   Often times everything is going well, and you should not be feeling sad or down, but you still feel horrible and sad about everything. Depression becomes the lens by which you see your entire world.  Everything becomes less enjoyable, less pleasurable, and less worthwhile.  Depression can leave you feeling numb without the ability to experience joy, excitement, and connection with others.  It can also leave you physically drained without energy to complete basic tasks such as hygiene or even eating.

When is it time for help?
If you are unsure whether what you are feeling is sadness or depression, it is affecting your day to day, and you think you might be depressed, it is important to seek the help of a professional.  Depression is common and there are many treatment methods that may benefit you. 

If you live in Austin, Seeds of Change Counseling would be honored to help.  We offer a free phone consultation to see if our counselors would be a fit.  Call us now at 512-676-5813.